Cindy Beale- Breathe Me
by Jabi07
Summary: Cindy Beale as the rest of her family are grieving for Lucy, but Cindy also has to deal with Pregancy and feeling unsure of her future, Will Cindy cope or will she crack under the strain?
1. Chapter 1

Cindy Beale- Breathe Me

**Part One**

Cindy Beale sat all alone swinging on the swings her head resting against the chain rain tumbling down but Cindy was unaware or didn't care either way she remained where she was. It was not that she didn't have anywhere to go it was more that this was somewhere that wasn't trapped with people looking all sympathetic at you or just looking depressed which was the tone mood in her house, which overwhelmed her making her bolt out the backdoor guiltily not stopping as she heard Ian's desperate cries to "come back" instead she ran here to the playground a happy area or should be but the emptiness just reminded Cindy of what she and her entire family had lost. T.J spotted her sat hunched over the swing looking lost and alone, he walked over to her sitting himself beside her wrapping his jacket around her,

"Cindy you Muppet! It's freezing out here! Think bout our kid!" Cindy instead of getting defensive like she normally does burst into tears making T.J awkwardly wrap his arms around her holding her as she crumbled with pent up emotion all flooding out of her. Ian felt numb and unsure of what he could say to the poor girl that could make all this easier or comforting for them all, he didn't want this his family falling apart! Lucy would hate this herself he could imagine her frowning over at him telling him off for not going after Cindy and making sure that she was okay. It was of that thought that he stood grabbing his coat as he headed for the door,

"Dad where you off to?" Peter frowned at Ian,

"Got to find Cindy. She needs to be here with her family!"

"But it's tipping down! She will probably be at a mates house just give her some space"

"Exactly Peter she's pregnant! What if she's out wandering around!" Peter sighed thinking maybe his dad could be right,

"Then I will come with you!"

"No. Stay with Bobby please I need to do this by myself" Ian left the house the cold Rain wetting him straight away as he rushed out the house and through Albert Square desperate to find Cindy. After she had calmed the crying down a little T.J had managed to get her out the rain and back to his flat, once dry and warm Cindy exhaustedly fell asleep on the sofa T.J wrapping her with a thick duvet to keep her warm, Terry watching his son proudly T.J noticing as he turned,

"What's with the look?"

"Nothing. Just proud mate you really looking out for her. That's good son"

"Well she needs me don't she! Do you think that I should phone Ian and let him know?" Terry nodded,

"It's the right thing to do. Ian don't need anything more to worry about does he son!" T.J sighed pulling out his mobile and scanned through his phonebook until he found Cindy's House number and pressed dial,

"Hello?"

"Peter its T.J uh just to inform you that Cindy is up mine…Just so that you don't worry"

"Ok. Is she alright?"

"Uh yeah just upset…but alright" Peter gave a long sigh of relieve,

"Right thanks mate for letting me know" Peter hung up and immediately phoned Ian's mobile which he had left on the counter in the kitchen. Ian had looked everywhere, through the Square drenched he feeling panicky wandered around unsure where to look his teeth starting to chatter, but determined to find her safe and most importantly alive. He was walking through the Square when Terry came running over to him a brolly in his hands,

"Ian mate didn't Peter tell you? Cindy is safe mate she is at my bit!" Ian feeling relieve flow through his body,

"Thank you. Uh can I go see her please?" Terry nodded holding the brolly over the pair of them as he led them back to his flat. Once inside Terry ordered T.J to get Ian a towel whilst Terry put the kettle on,

"She looks drained. It has been hard sleeping in our house lately" Ian explains looking sadly at a fast asleep Cindy, as he placed himself infront of her taking hold of her hand tears welling up as he guiltily thought back to how cruel he had treated Cindy since she had arrived her, making it perfectly clear that he would never see her as family as his Daughter, but know all he could feel is deep fatherly affection for the girl who quite clearly needed love but had never really had it before.

"Here mister Beale. You know that uh she was by herself in the cold before I found her don't ya?"

"T.J!" Terry warned not wanting Ian feeling more upset than he was already,

"What dad? You said that I need to look out for her and the baby and that's exactly what I'm doing!" before Terry could respond Ian placed his hand up to silence both of them,

"T.J thank you. You are not what I thought you were your better. And as for Cindy I have realised that I've not always shown her how much I care. And how much this family needs her so from now on I am making sure that she is fully aware of this" Ian firmly shock T.J`S hand and lightly rubbed Cindy's arm making her rouse from her sleep slightly confused,

"Ian uh what is happening?" Cindy asks sitting herself up frowning with worry over at Ian,

"We are going home love. And we are all going to sit down and have a much needed family meal what you say love?"

"That sounds perfect!" Cindy says tears falling down her face as she lightly touches her bump, feeling her heart race with mixed happiness and sadness of Lucy not being around to see it all.


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

Both Cindy and Ian rushed through the rain over to the Beale`s house, both drenched and their hair sticking to their faces as they entered through the Kitchen door Peter and Denise standing up to greet them,

"Oh god you're both soaking! Go change the pair of ya before you freeze!" Denise says bossily as Cindy headed upstairs her teeth chattering from the dampness on her skin. Ian watched as she walked until she was out of sight before in hushed tones he spoke,

"I found her at Terry's flat. She was wiped out of it she looked so vulnerable. I promised that we'd all sit down together and have a family meal"

"But it won't be all of us though will it" Peter said darkly as he budged pass Ian and stomped upstairs slamming his bedroom door behind him, making all of them sigh drained of feeling so lost and not knowing what to say to each other. A moment later Cindy made her way downstairs frowning in worry, watching as Ian and Denise tried putting on a brave face and act normal both whistling as they set the table,

"What was that all bout? With Peter?" Ian smiled but his eyes showed his true feelings of sadness,

"Nothing. Just I said the wrong thing love nothing for you to get stressed bout!" Cindy folded her arms frowning as she watched Ian's body language,

"Its about this meal isn't it? Peter got upset right" Ian made it perfectly clear that was what it was about with his silence making guilt form inside of Cindy,

"We should just do it another time. It's to soon!"

"No if anything it's to late! We are doing this love; leave Peter to me while you go put your feet up. You need to be relaxing when you're pregnant!" Cindy hesitantly followed Denise into the lounge where both Bobby and Jane sat both looking blankly at the Telly,

"Here Cindy get in beside us love" Jane says pulling the duvet open for Cindy to squeeze unto the sofa beside them, Jane snuggling both of them wanting to protect them and keep them safe. Half hour later Peter followed by Ian came downstairs both red eyed and drained, Peter joining the others while Ian went into the Kitchen to check on the food,

"I am so sorry for earlier… I just got overwhelmed…but Dad made me realise that it's important we do this…for Lucy!"

"Peter its ok. We are all upset and not ourselves right now. Come on then and join us food won't be long"

"Actually I uh have to do something…I really wont be long promise" Peter hurried out the house leaving all of them confused, Cindy sat herself up looking close to tears as she looked away hating when people saw her crying,

"Oh darling, everything will be alright. Its ok you know to be upset we all are darling!" Denise says softly as she places a hand onto Cindy's lap making Cindy overwhelmed as tears fell down her cheeks,

"Why? Why did she have to die?" Cindy asked not understanding why someone wanted to kill her Sister, yeah she was a bit goby sometimes and could act like she knew how to handle herself but deep down it was an act that Cindy could sense straight away, Lucy really was just as fragile as Cindy was but was to stubborn to ever admit it! Both Denise and Jane looked troubled as they had no idea what to say to Cindy's outbursts and just stared helplessly watching the poor girl crumble in despair,

"Cindy? What happened?" Ian asked wide eyed in fear as he hurried over to Cindy wrapping an arm around her, which as he did so Cindy leaned herself into him feeling vulnerable and needing to be held. Ian and Cindy were now in her bedroom Ian tucking her in as he gently stroked her hair,

"Cindy you know that Lucy…she loved all of us right and nothing will ever change that!"

"Even when I was a total cow to her?"

"You were Sisters it would be weird if you didn't bicker and fight" Cindy nodded taking his hand,

"Ian I know that I will never be yours but I think of you as my Dad…and I like being a Beale" That touched Ian as he tearfully pulled her into him holding her and knowing deep down what he had to do to make Cindy realise how much he wanted her here and more so needed her here,

"Cindy? How bout when all this is over you become a official Beale?"

"What you mean?"

"How bout I make you my Daughter officially!" Cindy squealed with happiness completely forgetting the sadness as she hugged Ian tightly,

"I promise I won't let you down!" Ian gave a reassuring smile,

"I know that you won't! So come on you get some rest!" Ian kissed her forehead lightly as she lay back against her pillows closing her eyes while Ian watched her tearfully thinking About Lucy.


End file.
